Take a number … and wait

For those of you that have already asked, and for those that might be wondering but haven’t asked, we’re still in the queue. For as fast as things progressed over the Summer and into the Fall, the days have suddenly started to drag. It feels like we’ve transitioned from a sprint to a marathon. Even that isn’t a great analogy because unlike any kind of race, we don’t have any idea where the finish line is.

The take-a-number analogy is closer, but even then you have to imagine that it’s a random number and the numbers aren’t being called in order. That’s where we’re at. We have a number. We’re in the queue. We just don’t know how many people are in front of us or how fast the line is moving. On top of that, the numbers are being called by random people and you have to wait for a person with the right skills to call your number. So, enough of the analogy.

Where are we? We’re waiting.

That’s really about it. The doctors continue to manage Becky’s fluids and various components of her blood - e.g., sodium, calcium, red/white blood cell counts, and so on and so forth. No major issues. They just continue tweaking things and making adjustments on the CRRT (continuous dialysis) as necessary. The main thing they’re asking Becky to do at this point is to try to eat more protein during the day. It’s hard for her since she doesn’t have much of an appetite and she’s not supposed to have most of the things she really wants. In fact her appetite is such that even with an appetite stimulant and the doctors giving her some grace on the diet restrictions, she ate less than 1/3 of a slice of pizza last night and about 3 chips with queso for lunch today - and those are two of her favorite things.

Most days she tries to work with physical and occupational therapy when they come by to help maintain her strength. She walks up and down the hall about every other day. She sits in the chair for a few hours on most days. We’re just managing all the things that come with an extended stay in the ICU. Becky’s also dealing with ICU delirium. She’s disappointed every day when there’s no news about a donor. She’s starting to get a little discouraged. In her current state, it’s really hard to explain that we’re waiting for somebody else that has elected to be a donor, is a match, and is healthy enough, to pass away. As one doctor stated, we’re waiting for another family to have their worst day so we can have our best day. It’s a tough spot to be in.

And so we continue to wait ... and pray ... for an unknown date and time to arrive, and for us to have the patience to make it to that date and come out stronger on the other side.